Just like in the Movies

After Barcelona, as planned, I headed to Malaga to meet up with my UWM sidekick/my better half who, coincidentally happens to also be named Kim. From the minute I got there, I knew we were in for an adventure! It seems like whenever Kim and I are together, ridiculousness follows, even STALKS us. Needless to say, this trip was memorable and the most fun I've had in a long time. Why, you may ask, did I know it was going to be such an adventure from the first minutes? You probably think I'm exaggerating, telling yourself I couldn't possibly have known that from the comfort of an airport. Well, after a quick hug and happy greeting from Kim, she immediately grabbed my bag and said "RUN! We have to catch a cab to the bus station so that we don't miss the last bus to my town in 15 minutes!" Within two minutes of the RAPID ride to the bus station, Kim and I had both planted our faces into the glass separating the driver from the backseat. The driver, offering no apologies, said "If I wouldn't have braked like that, I would've hit that car! I had no choice!" and sped on. Surprisingly and very luckily, we caught the bus and saved ourselves 60 euros. The same luck, however, did not stay with us for the rest of the week.
The next day, we woke up to a sun brighter than I've seen in a long time, and warm weather that I could've only imagined, even in Barcelona! The only thing I could think of is playing in the sand and spending the entire day outside, so that's exactly what we did! Later that night we dragged ourselves out for a 10pm dinner, like the Spanish do, and then for a fun (and interesting) night out in Velez Malaga, the land of old people and chicos malos.
The next morning, we immediately regretted drinking so much tequila as we dashed to the travel agency in Kim's town to try to book a weekend getaway to Morocco! 2 hours later, after the first of many "Typical Spain, the land of efficiency....NOT" moments that day, we were on the long bus ride to Malaga. Let's just say, it was a bumpy ride and one Kim has quite a weak stomach. Upon arrival, we headed to the ticket counter where the motion sick Kim politely (and accidentally) asked if we could please get a bus from Malaga to Tanger, Morocco. Though it seemed clear that it was a mistake, and that even though we are American we realize that Spain and Morocco are on two different continents, the ticket counter lady said, with a more shocked expression than I've ever seen "A TANGER!?" After all was said and done, it turned out we couldn't catch a bus for almost 2 more hours. We had just missed the earlier bus by 10 minutes. Of course. Four hours later we arrived in Algeciras, where we then had to catch a shuttle bus to the port of Tarifa. However, it was 7:35 and the bus had left promptly at 7:30. The next bus wasn't until 9:00, which happened to be the exact time the last ferry left for Morocco. We had a moment of panic and pure disdain for Spain (I think those words rhyme for a reason), before finally catching a taxi to the port. After some confusion, and a crazy, possibly mute, definitely rude Moroccan woman pushing me through customs in Tarifa, we finally boarded our ferry which would have us in Morocco in 35 minutes.
We were told by the travel agency that someone would be waiting for us at the port to bring us to our hotel with a sign with our names on. However, after the day we had (which also happened to be Friday the 13th...) we were about 95% sure that we would be stranded at the port. I'm happy to say that we were wrong, and our savior (whom we have nicknamed Jesus) was there! So, after only eight or nine hours of travel, we were finally at our wonderful hotel in Tangier! We couldn't have been happier!
The next day was an entirely different story, and was what I would consider one of the funniest, most entertaining, and most ridiculous days of my life! Feeling a bit like fish out of water in Morocco, and not even knowing what language to speak, we decided to take a guided tour of the city. This tour included beautiful views of the city, a delicious and gigantic lunch, a walk around the Medina, a lesson about different Moroccan spices and herbs, a visit to a (magic) carpet store, and camel rides! Amazing.

All of this took only about half of the day, so we decided after that to go see some caves/grottos outside of the city, where we also found some angry monkeys, some mean camels, a taxi driver who stayed with us for three hours, and a fancy hat for Kim.

After that, we thought we would walk around the Medina and do some shopping (read: get hustled by/invited home with every man in Morocco).

Then, when our efforts to catch a cab were futile, we hopped in a car with some Moroccan strangers...sorry Mom. I know, I should have learned my lesson the first time I was in Morocco, but they are all so willing to do anything for you,

it's hard to resist taking them up on the offer sometimes. Anyway, no worries, we got lucky and these guys were just about the nicest strangers we

could've possibly met. Turned out they weren't even from Tangier, and were on their way home to Casablanca. Nonetheless, after we (barely) survived the traffic and the crazy driving habits of Moroccans, and after a couple moments of "Is this really happening", we made it back to our hotel unscathed, the guys gave us some candy (yes, we LITERALLY took candy from stangers...haha) and went on their way. Among the more ridiculous things said to us in passing that day:
"Do you want some more things?"
"You want it?" (About a kitten on the street, we know he would've named a price, probably around 1 euro)
"Up one more floor are the camels and the harem."
"I'll give you 1000 camels for 5 chickens."
When I later offered someone else 5 chickens for 1000 camels, the response was, "That's a fortune, NOT EVEN THE LEG OF A CAMEL!"
"No way Jose!" (Why do Moroccans speak such good English!?)
While bargaining, "25 euros, 2 for 20, 3 for 10, 3 for 5, 2 for 2, 1 for 1, I give you 2. Take it!"

The next day, we had another case of the unlucky travelers. First of all, Kim was sick again. Something we had eaten for our romantic Valentines dinner at the hotel restaurant was causing some major problems. Then, once we got to the port, we were followed around by multiple men telling us "Tarifa, no, tarifa no!!!!!" We just ignored them and tried to get on our boat. Turned out, it was too windy and the boat couldn't leave the entire day. We were visibly shocked, walking around in panic, trying to figure out what to do. We were finally whisked onto a much larger, much uglier, apparently much SLOWER boat. Once we were aboard, we found out that the boat wasn't even headed to the same destination, but to another city in Spain. Luckily it wasn't a problem for us, but if it had been there was nothing we could do about it. We also learned that this boat would take THREE HOURS to get to Spain as opposed to the 'Fast ferry' we were supposed to take that took 35 minutes. 3 hours, 2 Dramamine, and 2 very green Kims later, we were in Spain. After two more long bus rides, the crazy trip was over.

On Monday, my last day in Spain, we decided to spend in the day in Malaga, walking around and seeing the sights. I didn't really know much about Malaga before visiting, but it is a really beautiful city! Picasso was apparently born in Malaga, and though we planned to visit the Picasso museum, it was closed that day (of course). So hopefully I can go back someday!

Anyway, that was the end of my trip. I spent that night in the Aeropuerto de Malaga unfortunately. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be, though it was a little awkward how often I woke up to see cleaning people staring at me. All in all, an amazing vacation! A wonderful break from the cold of Saint Etienne. A great time with Kim, who was an incredible hostess. Two insanely beautiful countries. And more ridiculous adventures than I ever could have imagined!